Hurts

good morning...

when i woke up this morning, it felt so different. it is so different that my heart aches. i have been asking myself the same question over and over again..

~ am i such a bad person?
~ do i bring pain and sadness to everyone surrounding me?
~ i make people lose hope on myself...

i left him and the memories behind...i should expect it. it is nothing wrong for him to hate me... but now when he say that he is disappointed, sad and angry at me, i felt really hurt from the inside and sad.

i should have expect it coming this way round...but i just can't to be honest. i am just scared to face it or i am running away from everything.

the other guy that said earlier that he loved me...is it real? should i believe it?
after what i experienced now, is he really serious about what he meant when he said it to me in the first place?

i seriously don't know what else to think of...i feel like everything that i want or hope for is something that i could never reached for. i just want someone i can depend and share with openly and happily without anyone standing in my way...

why can't you all just understand me?? why do you all only think for your own self-esteem and not for what i have to learn for myself....just let me try.

i know and understand that you all did it for love to me and do not want me to get hurt...but there is a saying, " no pain no gain" right?

i am so hurt and confuse now...what is the purpose of my life?