After what had happen...to be honest and truthful..my heart feels happy but at the same time..its' getting more empty like a bottle of leaking from somewhere which i can't really put it.
I don't know what exactly is he thinking but if he accused me for leaving my ex is a wrong doing then his wrong. He may be mature in his way, but the situation is in my hand. And it's a different thing for me and it's not easy.
Today, i went out with someone that i don't really know of but i know him. He is Encik Harris, a radiographer from where i am having my clinical attachment. When i went watching movies with him, he reminded me of you, Andrew.
I am not suppose to think back again...But yet i am having this weird feelings when thinking back those memories that I should had buried it on the day we argue. I just wish to know what his planning to do...Maybe i am thinking too much cause i do not want to let go of something that i could not hold easily.
Every word i said to him on that day, well it does hurts me more than him. Slapping him...well, if i really did get the chance to see him once more, it would be so much more than just a slap...It will be something he never thought of. And i know he will accept it happily.
I really miss talking, spending time and arguing with him. It's kinda fun. Friends told me something when i was really sad about him, "He is a very ego person and can easily offend someone". Well, from the start, i know he is different. He is a bit stubborn and he does not care what other people may thing, he will straight do the things that he thinks he is right.
My friend told me, "During the incident in the car with the other car...He can choose to ignore, but he didn't. Why would he care? Because of his pride? Its just because he has a high self-esteem. Something like that." Well, i do agree about what my friend said. He can choose to ignore. Then everything can be okay.
In conclusion, i seriously do not want to say this. I really did fell in love with him. On the other hand, if he did went back to his ex...then i accept it..It's his choice anyway.
Like what i always reminded myself about now, "Love is something that does not belong to my life, this life."
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